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  artists
:: Jeph Jerman : excerpts from the sound diary
oct. 12, 99
returned to the ashalt loop in the desert
to retrieve the agave stalk. brought the hacksaw, hooked around
the handlebars of the bike. the stalk was easy to cut through, but
i couldn't get all of it due to the profusion of stiff leaves at
the base. sawed the stalk into two pieces, one about two and a half
times the length of the other, and strapped them to either side
of the bike using a rubber bungee chord that i found in our yard.
with the saw back over the handlebars & the agave attached, i rode
the bike home with no trouble.
didn't hear a lot while i was out there sawing. traffic
on the highway, bees, which seem ubiquitous...and a crow which i
could hear but not see. once a strange metallic buzzing that
i couldn't identify, which startled me...
the top portion of the stalk is still quite green,
with many flower stem junctions and slight bends. i've left it against
the west facing side of the house to dry out. hopefully it won't
rot. the bottom section i've skinned with the carpet knife. it has
one small hole near the bottom. carpenter bee? weevil? i apologized
to all the insects whose home i was disturbing (stealing?).
oct. 13, 99
...a little farther south i pull off the road into
the desert and watch a flock of quail criss-crossing the stony pavement,
picking at the ground. peeping and squeaking and scratching. one
is jumping up to nip at the low hanging branches of an acacia tree.
oct. 19, 99
listening to birds. those noisy, crackling,
"speaking" groups reside here as well. (i found out later
that they are called "grackles"). today i sat on anna's
porch and listened to at least three trees full of them voicing
in and around each other. if one really listens, how can it not
seem that these birds possess "intelligence", or something
akin to it? and they all come to a halt at the same time, just as
good human improvising musicians can. i refuse to believe there
is not some pleasure in, or "reason behind" this display
of sonic beauty. indeed, why do birds sing? because they can?
earlier i was sitting on the concrete slab next to
the house, skinning the agave stalk, thinking about awareness, conscioussness
etc. does this stalk feel pain? if it does know what's happening
to it, do other living things sense it's knowing? is there distress?
if birds and plants do not think "i", are they only aware
of all else as the vast all? can they see themselves at all? while
i was thinking these things, a bird in the tree above my head let
loose it's bowels and the crap landed on my shoulder. was this a
planned thing, or did i just happen to be in the "wrong"
place? is it a lie to ascribe intent to birds or bees or spiders?
we do. all the time, ("little fucker bit me!") even though
science tells us otherwise.
yes, guilt. i was feeling guilt about having taken
this plant...about cutting it up and now skinning it, which started
all the ruminations about birds and whether or not they have any
feelings one way or the other about my actions, or whether, if they
do, they then pass judgement on me. this loop of thought was running
when the bird poop hit my shoulder. perhaps the birds also felt
my guilt? and shat on me to assuage it?
i want wholeheartedly to believe that my me, my "I",
has no bearing on anything around me and is only the center from
which my awareness focuses, crimpt as it may be from years of agreements
i've made with "myself". Nothing "i" do could
possibly make any real difference.(this statement too is ego). and
i wish to know how to view the world, the universe, without my nagging
"me" along to force that viewing into conforming to it's
fears and wants and grappling with control. can i ever become aware
of my surroundings without thinking? just to see, to notice, (take
note of)...conscious w/o conscience...
also today, idling for a moment i picked
up some small branches which had broken from the conifer afront
the house and, wondering what sound they'd make, whisked them through
the air. what did i hear? wind in the trees. the sound i love so.
i thought again about physicists describing the sound as needle
shape carving air, how each leaf shape has it's characteristic sound...
and then there were the bees inside the agave stalk.
while playing around with the biggest section yesterday, i started
to blow into the insect hole near the bottom, trying to get a sound.
blowing hard and turning the hole towards, then away from, the flow
of air, listening for the point at which the air stream split and
produced a note. i never quite got one. what i did get was a high-pitched
buzzing sound that continued after i'd stopped blowing and caused
the whole stalk to vibrate subtly. i ran inside for the tape deck
and mic, remembering about the insects who lay their young inside
agave stalks. for the next ten or fifteen minutes i played around
with the stalk, recording the buzzings coming from inside. at some
point i felt that i was possibly causing some distress, and so,
by and by, i left it alone.* at one point i did see a black body
crawl past the hole, shiny and quick...to get away from this nuisance?
was this the cause of the metallic buzzing i'd heard when i first
cut the stalk? in any event, i'll try not to use stalks with holes
in them from now on. in fact while investigating several fallen
stems adjacent to our local burger king, i noticed carpenter bees
buzzing nearby and saw several holes in the stalks. i left them
there. how long does it take these bees to mature and leave the
stalk? could i return later and retrieve them, beeless?
*(when i played the recording back for eleanor
later, she said that the insect definitely sounded "pissed
off".)
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